I feel afraid. It feels like something is going to creep up on me. Like it’s waiting for the right moment.
Lately I haven’t been wanting to sleep. The thought of going to bed makes me anxious. I don’t know why. I’ve always loved sleeping, because it’s the one time I don’t have to worry about anything. But now that’s been taken away from me.
My mind is shrouded in fog and I can’t see the light. All I hear is static. I’m haunted by nightmares.
Something old is trying to get out. Something that’s been locked away in my mind. I can’t remember it, but my dreams have all been related to memories lately. Puzzling it togther, while being hunted.
I’m afraid of remembering.
I am tired and I want to sleep, but I keep having weird, intrusive thoughts. I want to cut my own skin off.
Just relax, just go to sleep.
I feel clouded and isolated at night. The thought of starting therapy is frightening. It’s the only way I’ll get better, but part of me doesn’t want to get better. Part of me wants to stay this way forever because I know what it’s like. I don’t know how to be normal again. It’s easier to pretend everything is fine.